How Long, O Lord?

by Bonnie White, Women’s Minister

“How long, O Lord?” is the heart cry of many women who struggle with their sexuality and join Living Hope Ministries.  

How long, O Lord, will this struggle last? How long will I continue to fight temptation with same-sex attractions? How long will I deny myself and pick up my cross? How long will I feel different and “other than” the other women? How long will I fight the enemy’s lies about who I truly am? How Long will I be told I cannot be fully satisfied in Christ?

How long, O Lord, will I be alone? How long will I wait for and work at building deep, healthy friendships? How long will I wait to fulfill my desires for a family? How long will I be misunderstood by my brothers and sisters in the faith? 

How long, O Lord, will the whole world be against me? How long will the culture celebrate the very thing I am laying at your feet? How long will I be told my desire to follow Christ for my identity and sexuality is impossible? How long will I be told I will fail, so I might as well give up and give into my same-sex attractions?  

As these courageous women, and perhaps you and I, ask these questions, God’s word is the place with the answer:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9

We do not know how long this struggle will last, but we do know that His grace is sufficient. Grace is unmerited favor. Your struggle does not exclude you from God’s favor. He is for you. He loves you. You can embrace the weakness of struggling with your sexuality, knowing that God will be strong for you. He will use this struggle to bring about His glory as you surrender it to Him. You don’t have to deny your struggles or act like you have it all together to get Christ’s power.  

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you….” – Deuteronomy 31:8

We do not know how long you may feel alone, but we do know you are not alone. You may feel alone and experience seasons of being without friends or family, but the God of the universe, who knit you together in your mother’s womb, is with you. The Lord himself is with you. No matter how many people forsake you, He has not abandoned you and never will.   

“…In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”- John 16:33b

This world is indeed against you living for Christ, but Jesus has already defeated the world and all its lies. Today, however, the trouble of this world can be heavy and overwhelming. The world is deafening with its views on sexuality, but Jesus has overcome the world! Jesus knew it would be difficult and gave us John 16:33b as a reminder to take heart.

If you are asking these questions of “how long,” know you are not alone. We have many women right where you are, and we can help. Below are a few steps you can take to get started.

  • Invest in your relationship with Christ by spending time in His word and prayer daily. If you need some help with this, check out our devotions and teachings
  • Surround yourself with other believers by connecting to a local church and consider participating in our in-person and/or online support groups.
  • Be honest with the Lord and fellow believers about your questions and struggles. Allow them to encourage you and remind you of God’s faithfulness in your life.

Lastly, no matter if you are struggling with your sexuality or love someone who does, please pray for these faithful women. They seek to honor God’s will for their lives amid same-sex attractions in a world that says anything less than celebrating these desires is repressive and impossible. Ask the Lord to remind them of His unfailing love and salvation. Pray that they will continue to persevere and hold on to Jesus even as they ask, How Long, O Lord?