by Marsha Inman, Friends & Family Director
“I prayed and prayed about this, and God has not taken this away.” My guess is that most, if not all, of the friends and family we represent have heard this comment from their child or loved one and were at a loss to know how to reply. Frustration and perhaps even anger grew as the prayers seemed to go no higher than the ceiling, causing that loved one to wonder if God really hears them, or if He truly cares about their pain. Later, friends and family may have started to feel the same confusion as they pray – sometimes for years – for resolution of this struggle, yet it persists. Is there any point in continuing to pray when things remain the same, or even get worse?
There are some well-known verses that imply that if you ask sincerely and persistently, your prayers will be answered the way you desire.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” Matt. 7:7-8
“And Jesus answered and said to them, “Truly I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt…it will happen. And whatever you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive it all.” Matt. 21:21-22
“Now He was telling them a parable to show that at all times they ought to pray and not become discouraged, saying, “In a certain city there was a judge who did not fear God and did not respect any person. Now there was a widow in that city, and she kept coming to him, saying, ‘Give me justice against my opponent.’ For a while, he was unwilling; but late,r he said to himself, ‘Even though I do not fear God nor respect any person, yet because this widow is bothering me, I will give her justice; otherwise by continually coming she will wear me out.'” Luke 18: 1-5
“… if you ask the Father for anything in My name, He will give it to you.” John 14:14
Each of those examples are from the mouth of Jesus, so they certainly are true, but they are not the entire teaching about prayer that we find in the Bible. Prayer is more nuanced than assuming that God is a beneficent vending machine or a genie that we must rub the right way to get our wishes granted. For all the examples of God answering His people’s prayers positively, there are many examples in the Bible of good, godly people who prayed and did not get their request answered with a yes.
King David prayed for the life of his child with Bathsheba. His request was denied. (2 Sam. 12:14) The prophet Jeremiah spent his adult life pleading with God for his people, and God told him, “So as for you, do not pray for this people, nor lift up a cry or prayer for them; for I will not listen when they call to Me… (Jer. 11:14) Paul prayed repeatedly for his thorn to be removed, yet God said no. (2 Cor. 12:9) Even God’s son had an unanswered prayer in the garden. (Matt. 26:39) These all had a vibrant relationship with the Lord, yet that did not guarantee an affirmative answer to their prayer. How can we make sense of this discrepancy?
We are told that God hears the prayers of the righteous. (Prov. 15:29) The only way to be righteous before God is to come as a child of God, forgiven through the blood of Jesus, so first, submit your life to the Savior. Peter tells us in 1 Pet. 3:7 of one reason a prayer might not be answered: a man not honoring his wife. Unconfessed sin of any type can block answers to prayer. (Ps. 24 :3-4) When Jesus taught the disciples how to pray, it began with asking that God’s will be done. (Matt. 6:10) God answers prayers that are in His will. (1 John 5:14-15) At times, God says “no” to a request we assume He would grant for a reason that is for our good and His glory. (2 Cor. 12:7)
We know of many things that God desires for us. He desires that we be saved (1 Tim. 2:4), that we be holy, or set apart (1 Pet. 1:16), and to be conformed to the image of His Son (Rom 8:29). His will is not limited to making us happy; He has higher goals for us. Our happiness will be fully realized once we are in His presence. Keep praying for your loved one, like the persistent widow continuing to petition the reluctant judge, but stay open to the reality that God may answer in a way that you are not expecting. He may be helping you to trust Him more fully, to allow you to minister to others in an authentic way, or to accomplish something in your life that will make you more like Jesus. His plans for us are good. (Jer. 29:11) Trust Him, keep praying until you get an answer… and be open to the way God chooses to answer.