by Bonnie White, Women’s Minister
A common conversation I have with women or men struggling with same-sex attraction concerns their frustration over a persistent struggle that lasts over time. Like anyone dealing with a deeply rooted and relationally connected sin, it can be overwhelming and draining. Usually, the person just wants to be done with “it” — the struggle they feel — and not have to deal with “it” anymore. While God sometimes removes a particular temptation or sin struggle, His goal is to draw us closer to Himself through it. Despite this, the person struggling with same-sex attraction often believes they must be doing something wrong to experience this ongoing fight. They conclude that they’re either not mature enough to overcome it or that there’s something wrong with them.
Even Mature Believers Struggle with Sin
The truth is that even mature believers struggle with sinful inclinations, including same-sex attraction. Paul, himself, describes this ongoing battle with sin in Romans 7:15-25 as a mature believer in Christ. He talks about how he does things he does not want to do, as well as how he struggles to do what he knows he should as a believer. All of this is because sin still dwells within him. So, if Paul, who authored the most books in the New Testament, still says he battles sin living in him, this is true for you and me. Paul addresses this struggle in Romans 8, beginning with how “there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus” (Rom 8:1). When you experience a continuous struggle with sin, especially same-sex attraction, remember there is no condemnation!
Even Mature Believers Fall
Others may become discouraged when they fall, especially after a long period of faithfulness. They think this means they are not mature or not truly walking closely with the Lord. God’s Word again provides an example in King David. He is called a “man after God’s own heart.” Yet, even after many years of trusting God, he sinned sexually by sleeping with a woman who was not his wife (2 Sam. 11). It is David’s repentance (Ps. 51) that truly marks him as a mature believer. David shows that he is indeed “a man after God’s own heart,” not because he is free from sin, but because he is willing to repent. Be encouraged that even if you have fallen, you can repent and get back up (Prov. 24:16)! God is waiting to restore and strengthen you!
Mature Believers Depend on Christ Through Their Struggles
Maturity in Christ also does not mean you no longer need Christ. Instead, the opposite is true. Our struggles, including ongoing struggles with same-sex attraction, remind us that we must depend on Christ. Looking at the apostle Paul, we see that he dealt with some “thorn in the flesh” (2 Cor 12:7). This thorn was a persistent struggle or temptation. He asked God to remove it (2 Cor 12:8), as I am sure you have with your struggle, but God did not. Instead, He told Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness…” (2 Cor 12:9). When we depend on Christ through our struggles, His power is made complete in us. No matter what your struggle is, remember His grace is enough! He will see you through even when you are weak.
Whether you’re someone dealing with same-sex attraction or love someone who does, remember that your struggles don’t define you. We live in a fallen world with a real enemy, Satan, whose goal is to destroy you. You will face temptations, as this is not our home. But with every temptation and struggle, we have the opportunity to let God’s power shine through us to bring Him glory and give us victory!