Reclaiming Formation

Reclaiming Formation: Why Biblical Design Must Precede Cultural Distortion

Bruno Borges, Ph.D. – Men’s Minister

When you wrestle with sexual struggle, whether same‐sex attractions or distorted opposite‐sex attractions, how much of your time do you invest in studying God’s design for sexuality? I ask this because too often our default is: we read and research the distortion (what is wrong, what is broken, what the world says), partially because that feels urgent, necessary, and even self-protective. And yet, while information about the distortion is indeed important, it should come after, or at the very least alongside, a primary investment in filling our minds with God’s design: what the Scriptures teach, how the gospel applies, how you are created in the image of God, male and female, and how your sexuality is meant to operate within His good purposes.

Consider when a father asks for resources on how to talk to his child about LGBTQ+ issues. My first follow-up question is: “What are you already teaching about God’s design for sexuality?” More often than not, the answer is: “Nothing. Or very little.” Meanwhile, the world is pouring in resources, visuals, narratives, social media, ideologies — discipling all of us in information and perspectives about the distortion. We do not need to amplify that by default. Instead, we must dive deep into God’s design, His ways, and the gospel-centered framework of truth. According to the Williams Institute at UCLA, over 7.2% of American adults now identify as part of the LGBT population, a percentage that has nearly doubled in a decade.¹ If the world is investing that much in formation, how much more should the Church invest in discipling men toward biblical formation?

Why is this inversion so common? Why do we skip or minimize the foundational teaching of God’s design, and gravitate first toward the problem, the struggle? I’d like to propose two key reasons.

1) God’s ways are hard and inconvenient. The Bible is, in many senses, the most inconvenient book for our culture’s desires. We want formulaic, cookie-cutter, “just show me the steps” answers. We prefer models like: “If you do X, you’ll be free of Y.” But the Scriptures instead call us to a design rooted in creation (Gen 2:15-25), fall, redemption, and renewal. There is a design, yes (male and female, marriage, covenant, purity, loyalty, embodied love), but aligning ourselves with it in this fallen world is hard, especially for some men who struggle more than others. But it’s not impossible. It just requires this re-orientation: we start with the design and build from there, not the other way around.

2) His Word calls us to die to ourselves and be born again. The path of discipleship is not simply “fix my sexual behavior” but “be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Rom 12:2). Paul reminds us that we have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer we who live, but Christ who lives in us (Gal 2:20). Dead to self, alive in Christ. That is not fun. Few of us want to die to ourselves. We want instant results. We want the quick fix. We want to ask: “Why me? Why is God allowing this?” Many men adopt the victim mentality: “Why would God allow me to experience this struggle?” My rejection of that question is: “Why not you?” Why wouldn’t God allow this if He intends to use this for His glory?

I met a brother a few months ago in Brazil who had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He asked, “Why would God allow this to happen to me? Why hasn’t He healed me?” At the same time, he told me about a support group of men and women he meets with weekly — secular in origin — and how the highlight of his week is encouraging them in life and sharing the gospel. I asked him, “Are you saying God is already using this diagnosis for His Kingdom? That you would never have met these people, or shared this passionately had you not walked through this?” He had not thought of it that way. And I told him: “Transformation comes from the renewal of your mind (Rom 12:2). If you can begin to see the goodness of God through your struggle instead of only seeing it from a victim’s lens, then kingdom purpose emerges. Healing happens. You begin to lean into the gospel, not merely against the struggle, but through it.”

When our first move is to fill our minds with everything about the distortion — what culture says, what our feelings dictate, what the world affirms — we risk being overwhelmed, defined by the struggle, and shaped by the narrative of victimhood. But when our first, foundational move is to fill our minds with God’s design (creation, fall, redemption, restoration), we orient ourselves differently. We place the gospel at the center, not the struggle. We find in Scripture that the “one-flesh” design of male and female in Genesis 2 (2:15-25) beckons us back to the Garden, not to perfection, but to purpose. Then we can responsibly learn about distortions, not to be paralyzed by them, but equipped to respond with truth, hope, and grace.

What might this mean practically for you as a man in the Men’s Ministry of Living Hope?

  • Begin regular study of Scripture with a focus on God’s design for sexuality: male, female, relational, covenantal, Christ‐like love. Make this your first line of defense, not your last.

  • Engage in discipleship rhythms (accountability, prayer, community) that emphasize identity in Christ rather than identity in struggle.

  • When you do study resources on sexual attractions, orientations, identity, and distortion, do so after you’ve anchored in God’s design, so the distortion does not become your master.

  • Shift your internal question away from “Why me?” or “What’s wrong with me?” and instead ask: “What is God doing in and through me in this moment? How might He be using this for His glory and my renewal?”

  • Encourage fathers and husbands: before you teach your kids or your children’s friends the culture’s narratives, teach them first and primarily what God says and what His design is. Then you are prepared to engage the questions of the world from a place of rootedness, not from a place of reaction.

Research shows that Christian men who engage Scripture consistently demonstrate lower rates of compulsive sexual behavior, anxiety, and identity confusion than those who disengage.² This reinforces that transformation begins not with behavior modification but with theological renewal.³

This is not sugar-coated. This is not simplistic. But it is gospel-real. You will struggle. Some days will feel impossible. But you are not alone. The Scriptures call you to “put on the new self” (Eph 4:24) and to “walk in newness of life” (Rom 6:4). The design may be demanding; the Way may cost you. But the prize is Christ, the Kingdom, and the transformed mind.

Men of Living Hope: I call you to a renewed determination. Do not let the world disciple you into its narrative of distortion and defeat. Let the Word disciple you into the gospel-story of design, redemption, and purpose. Study the design. Live the design. Then, when you do examine the distortions, you will do so from a place of strength, clarity, and hope.

May grace sustain you, may truth empower you, and may you walk increasingly in freedom not defined by your struggle but defined by your Savior.⁴

  1. “Adult LGBT Population in the United States,” Williams Institute, UCLA School of Law, 2023, https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/adult-lgbt-pop-us/ (accessed November 4, 2025).
  2. Wilkerson, J. Michael, Derek J. Smolenski, Sonya S. Brady, and B. R. Simon Rosser, “Religiosity, Internalized Homonegativity, and Outness in Christian Men Who Have Sex with Men,” AIDS and Behavior 17, no. 1 (2013): 31-39.
  3. Laumann, Edward O., John H. Gagnon, Robert T. Michael, and Stuart Michaels, “The Prevalence of Homosexual Behaviour and Attraction in the United States, the United Kingdom and France: Findings from the Project HOPE International Survey of AIDS-Risk Behaviour,” Journal of Homosexuality 19, no. 1 (1990): 89-104.
  4. “10 Things Everyone Should Know About a Christian View of Homosexuality,” Focus on the Family, accessed November 2, 2025, https://www.focusonthefamily.com/faith/10-things-everyone-should-know-about-a-christian-view-of-homosexuality/.