A question that many women struggling with same sex attraction and gender identity often struggle with is, “Am I woman enough?” Something deep inside their souls has been asking this question for as long as they can remember. For much of their lives, they have felt “other than” or different. This divide between themselves and other girls and women around them feels insurmountable. It doesn’t matter how they define femininity; they do not feel enough… beautiful enough… thin enough… nurturing enough… quiet enough… fashionable enough… whatever femininity is, they are not enough.
Some of this may stem from true, God-given differences in personality and interests. In this case, they may not fit cultural expectations or the definition of what a “girly girl” is. Their interests often do not include fashion, makeup, homemaking, and the like. Christian circles can even add to the confusion as they look around their church and see only one type of Christian woman championed and celebrated.
When they come to see me, this question, “am I enough,” that we all ask in some form or another, has so deeply attached itself to their sense of femininity that they believe they can never fit into the world of women, especially Christian women. In addition, they may even believe that this “not enough-ness” is the reason for their same sex attraction and the rejection they have experienced from other women. It is often a painful experience.
Part of the healing process is helping these amazing women understand that Christ was enough on their behalf and who He made them to be as women is a beautiful thing. They are already enough as women simply because God made them that way, and they fit with other women because Jesus first welcomes them. The question of “enough-ness” is settled in Christ. He has made them women, and they are enough.
Believing these things is often a process because, for many years, they have believed lies that the Lord must replace with His truth. The enemy has often created a very large “case” with evidence of their differences and feelings of rejection over the years. It takes great courage for these women to share vulnerably the areas where they do not feel enough as women with the other ladies in the group. As they share and are met with their identity in Christ, the lies slowly lose their power. Over time, as they see they belong with the other women in our support groups, the wounds of feeling “other than” begin to heal.
Lord willing, their healing begins to overflow into other relationships in their lives. They can operate more confidently among the world of women around them because they know they are enough and belong in the Lord’s family as daughters of the King. Regardless of whether you are someone who experiences same sex attraction or gender identity struggles, if you are questioning if you are enough, remember to look to Christ. He is the answer.